Super Kawaii my ass...

I really didn't want to have to discuss Gwen Stefani. She's a celebrity and celebrities are stupid. Her new solo...thing is tacky and proves her lack of talent. But we all know this and more important people that me have said it, and better (check out the article by MiHi Ahn). But I decided to speak out now, about 3 years too late because the former No Doubt rock-tart (it's like pop-tart but with rock instead. get it?) has become more annoying lately. It's kind of hard to believe that she'd get on my nerves now, since I've been listening to her annoying little girl voice warble since the Don't Speak days, but with the new HP ads (how the hell do you have paper dolls on a computer? they'd be digital or something right? computers aren't made of paper!) and the fucking doll line she has now, that I just discovered at Claire's to my disgust, I had to do something.

You see, I really used to like Gwen. I liked No Doubt. Their songs were catchy and she was their athletically cute frontwoman. But when she decided to go solo, I was really doubtful. Mostly because it seemed like a jerkish move. How long had they been a band together? Like 30 years? And of course, she took all the fame with her (name someone else in No Doubt, I dare you.) it's a shame the band had all the talent. Her solo debut is so over-produced it's ridiculous. Do you really need help to write every song on the album Gwen? The introduction of the "Harajuku Girls" is the worst fucking part of the whole thing. I put it in quotes because they are in no way Harajuku. One of the princples of Tokyo Street Fashion is something punks are familiar with: DIY or for dummies, do it yourself. The coolness of the style comes from the individuality. That's why all the kids go to the bridge at Harajuku Station to show off their cool shit. Now answer me this: How the hell can these 4 mimes show off their individuality when Gwen dresses them!?

Gwen Stefani and her slave entourage

I could kinda understand the need for these chicks if they were backup singers, but no, they're just dancers. Their job is to dance around Gwen and make her feel cool and powerful since she owns them. They don't sing, they don't talk, they do nothing but serve Mistress Stefani. I wonder if she even pays them. They are included in the doll line, under the names Gwen bestowed upon them (Love, Angel, Music, and Baby-- the name of her stupid album and her clothing line L.A.M.B) but even then they're marginalized. They're the cheapest of the collection, $10 as opposed to the $16 for the various Gwens. This is the description for one doll, Love, on the Target website : "Love is one of the edgy, fashion-forward Japanese Harajuku Girls that live within Gwen's world." Wow. She lives in Gwen's world? Damn, she doesn't get to exist by herself. Poor Japanese girl that was probably born in America and speaks perfect English. To make matters worse, among the "features" for the doll is a "super kawaii school uniform"

Somehow worse than Bratz...

Wow again. "Super kawaii" First of all, I don't think Gwen knows what that means. secondly, if she did or even if she didn't, only 12 year old fangirls talk like that. Makes sense, cuz those are the only people stupid enough to buy her stuff. So not only is she a racist and a bad singer, she's a fucking otaku and we here at tasty chaos do not condone otaku-try of any kind anywhere.

I don't know what worse, a 36 year old wife and mother cosplaying with slaves or a 36 year old wife and mother really believing she's down with the new style. Either way it sucks. Just like with Avril Lavigne and neckties, everyone's gonna think the real fans and devotees of Japanese fashion are just following a trend. Thanks for ruining an entire cultural fashion, gaijin.

I've invaded Blogger. A rather succesful campaign

Another blog thingie, just what I needed! Work has made my wrists sound like a cement mixer, so I won't be writing much. But stay tuned!